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Life In The Metropole

by State Forest

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1.
The General 05:46
The general walks in with his wife and children With open one-armed hugs, “Merry Christmas to you all!” (While gesturing to a great oak tabletop) “The last time that I saw you, you were only this tall! Come in, place your coats in the closet down at the end of the hall” Overheard from the living room I turned in my chair as soon as I heard the honorific His resume splayed to his breast So he’s the one that I’ve heard so much about; Crew cut, clean shaven, with a stiff stoic gait about him “Make yourself at home, dinner will be ready in about an hour” (Pointing to a fogged mic-century timer) “Place your presents are over there in the corner by the tree and I’ll call out when everything's all set and ready” I pulled a chair up beneath a framed family crest as a member asks the man clad in martial extravagance: “Sir, Ive watched the news, but how is the war really going? We're the best army in the world - it appears we’re losing!” The rest of the ears perked up as the general placed down his cup “We’re hamstrung by the feckless doves! and the department expects too much!” “Do they not understand who we’re dealing with on the ground over there?” “They understand, they just aren’t capable of modern warfare” “I see what you’re saying, so why not just clear the field and start over?” “Yeah! Carpet bomb them back into the stone age!” “They’re really not that far off anyway…” Quipped the general in return and I felt sick. I question if I should’ve brought the war home rather than remembering sitting impotently uncomfortable ‘You should all be ashamed of yourselves!’ plays on a loop in my head I could’ve volunteered somewhere or anything else instead ‘But what would that do? Would it’ve changed the affect of anyone in that room?’ ‘It's a protest to the institution I’m arguably closest to!’ 'I get that, and maybe you’re right, but maybe you could be mistaking regret for insight. Or confusing choice with obligation’ What a comedic affair when cathartic calls for violence are paired with gift-wrapped chocolates, lasagna, and seasonal cheer. Is it not the same cruelty when the people involved collectively share my similar jaw-line, nose, eye shape, or the color of my hair?
2.
As I was approaching, I pulled out my phone as I'm trying to keep at least one eye on the road Though I’m occupied, I fumble through “come outside” “We look like hell and its best to be honest” A smile emerged as you looked down at your outfit and said “I don’t know, considering all of this context, I at least, I look somewhat appropriate” “Wait a minute, I know there’s a joke here to make if I can just find it” “Take your time - I can wait” “Its not coming, but lets pretend it did and it landed great” “We can stay here until morning, no one should bother us” Loose clothes in the backseat “I’ll lock the door shut” “Until I get back with blankets and spare water from the trunk” "This isn’t so bad, in fact, I find it endearing Do you want to talk next steps or wait until the morning?” “Let’s wait; in 6 hours the sun will come pounding Through the windshield and we’ll wake whether we like it or not” “Officer, I swear I have a license, I just can't find it We were just trying to get some rest. I promise we’re just trying to get some rest” When a familiarity has turned into strangeness, I’ll reach for what I can with my arms Through a thick fog I see trees in the distance and the sign for the exit I want “We’ll need to re-pad our breaks and rotate our tires Before we head into the mountains tomorrow But other than that, supplies, and a full tank of gas I haven’t given much thought to what comes after” Look, Ive been careless with the use of my language And if I haven’t made much sense, please say so and I’ll try again
3.
Dangle a rain check over my head And I’ll leap at the chance to put off any agreed plans You’ve said it once and I’ll invite you to say it again, What’s a little criticism amongst friends? “The worst thing you can do is try to externalize Some pastiche of the guy you were at 25 You’ll get head turns but not in the way that you’ll like The performance is stale but you know that right?” Time and time again, time proves irrelevant See, life in the metropole, it just keeps on giving! We’re Year-Zero children, packed to the ceiling with stuff With plunder everywhere were turning into a warehouse “So what are you gonna do? Move to the forest Or start out over and cosplay as an artist? I’m sure you’ll admit that those paths aren’t as charming.” “You’re goddamn right, they’re nowhere near as charming! But what is alarming, is how may hours it takes To decide to abandon these projects and initiate something new, Something truly worth doing Where worth comes in post and doesn’t prove to be elusive” Time and time again, time proves irrelevant See, life in the metropole, it just keeps on giving! We’re Year-Zero children, packed to the ceiling with stuff With plunder everywhere were just turning into a warehouse “Lets play this out: it’s 10 years from now Your hair is thinner and no pen has touched paper You’ve thought and thought. You’ve thought about thought. Trudged lost in the infinite scenarios of all of it But with whom? Who critiqued you? Where you ever forced to see the dead-ends of your reason-tree through the mind of someone else entirely? Aware of yourself - be aware of yourself in the time you’re in” Time and time again, time proves irrelevant See, life in the metropole, it just keeps on giving! We’re Year-Zero children, packed to the ceiling with stuff There's plunder everywhere and we've turned into a warehouse
4.
Weil 04:46
Paused in amazement, frozen looking forward Ten thousand yard stare into directionless noise Where’s a distraction from the breakneck pace of the outside world? I sit down, brace myself, but the shock rolls in awful Is it coming for me? Is it coming for me to test what I don’t know? Or to tear down what I’ve prided myself for? What if all my emotional investments all fail Go bankrupt, stocks belly-up, and a pass-due notice on its way in the mail In the meantime I’ll keep searching for the other rifts and cracks in my home Lost time’s near constant whine Like tinnitus that’s set in for the long haul ride Grab what I need, check the deadbolt two times, and bolt off into the night The situation sets in slowly but sets deep into your bones Not knowing if your crops will grow given the onslaught of unknowns As an eyes wide, almost fairytale-like, bad-trip unfolds In a kaleidoscope of bad options beckoning you onward I’m coming up empty I’m coming up empty, unsatisfied, speechless, and unreasonably angry Cooped up inside these four walls of my making as an Oscar-nominated bad-faith actor in in training I like it here - I do, I do And I accept that the 'needs of my soul' coincide with the ‘Need For Roots’ Supernaturally empathic; I envy how she thought, And like her, I want “a heart that can beat right across the world” I’m trying now I’m trying now even though I don’t know how it’ll turn out, I am by obligation bound since I don’t make much sense without these other people around No I don’t make much sense without all these other people around
5.
The Hudson 03:40
When I arrived I called you but you left your phone in the bathroom Slinking forward, I pushed through crumpled cans, empty guest rooms A shadowy figure rests his hands on my shoulder “Have you found who you’re after? Are you lost? Too sober?” This is where you said that we would meet up To park my car away a few blocks Shuffled around thinking; this what I want? Don’t dig a hole just to climb your way out I remember thinking that I had enough time With a shrinking interest in doing right I could come up with yet another lie Oh, I don’t mind In the summer I looked forward to taking the train down to New York The scores of people in full force Come flooding the Grand Central concourse A damp breeze over The Hudson. Construction rumble and the gleam of new storefronts Ripples in old herringbone sidewalks I’m invisible even with my eyes up I watched the planes as they were taking off A frightened tourist with a parasol and Waves against the battery wall I grabbed my phone and started walking off When I came to your front door With groggy eyes and a cup full of coffee made over a day ago You asked “Where’d you go?” I’ve crossed this bridge over a million times It seems longer on a cold night I did only what I thought was right We share regrets but I own mine Keep holding out for another one or sit around until you get some I can’t imagine all the things I've done Yet, I’m the one

credits

released April 11, 2022

All songs written, performed, mixed, and mastered by State Forest
Vocals recorded at Pink Noise Studios, Somerville MA

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