Paused in amazement, frozen looking forward
Ten thousand yard stare into directionless noise
Where’s a distraction from the breakneck pace of the outside world?
I sit down, brace myself, but the shock rolls in awful
Is it coming for me? Is it coming for me to test what I don’t know?
Or to tear down what I’ve prided myself for?
What if all my emotional investments all fail
Go bankrupt, stocks belly-up, and a pass-due notice on its way in the mail
In the meantime I’ll keep searching for the other rifts and cracks in my home
Lost time’s near constant whine
Like tinnitus that’s set in for the long haul ride
Grab what I need, check the deadbolt two times, and bolt off into the night
The situation sets in slowly but sets deep into your bones
Not knowing if your crops will grow given the onslaught of unknowns
As an eyes wide, almost fairytale-like, bad-trip unfolds
In a kaleidoscope of bad options beckoning you onward
I’m coming up empty
I’m coming up empty, unsatisfied, speechless, and unreasonably angry
Cooped up inside these four walls of my making
as an Oscar-nominated bad-faith actor in in training
I like it here - I do, I do
And I accept that the 'needs of my soul' coincide with the ‘Need For Roots’
Supernaturally empathic; I envy how she thought,
And like her, I want “a heart that can beat right across the world”
I’m trying now
I’m trying now even though I don’t know how it’ll turn out,
I am by obligation bound since
I don’t make much sense without these other people around
No I don’t make much sense without all these other people around
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